We have all been there: the perfectly thought out day , the expensive rich menu and the thoughtfully organised seating plan. However one aspect does not always fit in with the brides idea of a perfect day. Kids. This article will explore why kids are not the most welcome guests at weddings and how on earth are you going to stop the bride going ballistic at you when your little darling has a screaming fit in the midst of their vows.

Wedding days as we all know are mostly high stress days where sometimes over a years planning and half a years wage has gone into making it one of the most perfect days in a girls life. It is a day where everything has to run like clockwork and anything that will make the smooth precision instrument that is a wedding deviate from its well thought out plan is doomed to the uninvited list.

Unfortunately, this normally means guests with children. Unless the bride herself has kids then prepare yourself for an apologetic phone-call involving discussions that include the words �small family gathering�, �we just couldn�t fit everyone in� or �we would love to have you as an evening guest�.

So how do you deal with this?

You can pre-empt this by informing her post-engagement that you totally believe in kids remaining at home with a babysitter and that a wedding day should be all about the bride (and groom) and not about the screaming one year old at the back of the church and watch the reaction. From that you can judge whether children will be included in the seating plan, relegated to a play room elsewhere or not even considered in the grand scheme of things.

If it is the middle one there are a number of things you can do to help out.

If you are to be a day guest it may be advisable to arrange for alternative accommodations for the children depending again on the reaction of the bride. The wedding ceremony is the most important aspect of the day and has to be perfect. This may result in your partner going for a walk round the block with the kids to possibly finding a local creche that would look after them for a couple of hours.

At the wedding reception one option is that you could organise a creche if there is a possibility of a number of children going. It is advisable to volunteer to organise this and not assume the bride to do this as she may have enough on her plate. Most hotels, if the wedding is booked into that venue would be happy to set aside a room for this. Look into hiring a local child minder and split the costs between the parents of the children.

Ensure as well that the children have a number of games and activities to keep them amused and occupied for a number of hours. It would be best to organise activities for different age groups as the age range of the kids may be quite wide.

Look into the food side of things as well. Do not assume that the kids will be invited to the wedding meal. Use the fact that if the bride is not enthusiastic to have kids at the wedding then it casts some doubt on whether they will be invited to the meal. It can be at the meal where the high stress levels can be mainly regarding the speeches. You do not want at this point for a child to start anouncing its presence.

Ask the hotel/venue if a side room could be arranged for the children to have their meal in so at least they will be within the same vicinity. Make sure it is a child friendly menu as children do not normally appreciate the wonderfully rich food that usually graces the tables of wedding receptions.